


Guilty Pleasures

by Zenece



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 13:46:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4062211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenece/pseuds/Zenece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kathryn Janeway's guilty pleasures</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilty Pleasures

The Mess Hall is empty when I enter late in the evening. Quietly, I order the lights to medium illumination and approach the replicator for a guilty pleasure.  
With the ordered bowl of coffee ice cream I retreat to the sofa at the other end of the room. 

I exhale when I sink down on the couch and put my feet up on the small table in front of me, my mind already focused on the cold treat I’m holding in my hands.  
I wiggle in my seat. I’m not comfortable. Something hard and unyielding seems to be situated underneath me. Leaning to one side, I probe around and feel a metal object stuck halfway between two parts of the couch. My fingers curl around it and I pull out a PADD I was sitting on. 

Torn between my love for coffee ice cream and my natural born curiosity I hesitate for a moment. Then my curiosity wins and I activate the PADD, wondering if its content will divulge information about its owner. 

I look at the words on the screen. 

M’Nea held her dagger to L’Naan’s throat intending to kill her the same way she had killed all the other warriors around her. But something in the other woman’s eyes made her hesitate. 

My eyebrows rise a little when I read those lines. I was expecting a technical report of some kind. Even more curious now, I continue reading.

On a whim M’Nea threw her mekh’leth in the sand a held her hand out to the woman lying at her feet. “Come to me.” She spoke, grabbing L’Naan and pulling her up forcefully. L’Naan’s clothing was torn and bloodstained but M’Nea paid no attention to that. Standing tall amidst dead bodies, her heartbeat quickened as she captured L’Naan’s gaze and she drew the other woman close to her and kissed her voraciously. L’Naan moaned as M’Nea’s hands roamed all over her body. She couldn’t help but enjoy the touch of the woman who had just slaughtered every man around her. And when M’Nea’s fingers explored her further, she surrendered to the woman completely and willingly.

I put the PADD down and can’t help but wonder whom it belongs to. 

The answer to that question is given when the door to the Mess Hall opens and B’Elanna strides in. She halts in surprise when she sees me. Obviously, she wasn’t expecting anyone to be here.  
“Captain.” She stammers. “I… Sorry to disturb you.” She takes a couple of steps closer to me. “I think I may have left a PADD here earlier.” She tries to make it sound like she’s forgotten an engineering report, not a trashy Klingon romance novel.

My eyebrow quirks up and I try to mask my amusement.  
“You mean this one?” I innocently hold up the PADD. 

I see her eyes widen as she realizes that I found the book. A blush creeps up her cheeks and I’m pretty sure she’s hoping I haven’t read it.

Somehow I find her embarrassment at getting caught endearing and can’t help but tease her a little bit.  
“Women Warriors at the River of Blood.” I state the title. “Seems like an interesting read.” I add lightly. “Entertaining, stimulating even.” 

She swallows, still gauging my reaction, and tries to find an appropriate response. But she comes up blank. 

I tilt my head. “Relax B’Elanna.” I attempt to appease her. “We all have our little guilty pleasures.” 

She loosens up only marginally.

“Mine used to be coffee ice cream.” I continue, indicating the bowl with melting contents next to me. “But that might change now I discovered this…” I grin teasingly, waving the PADD.

B’Elanna looks at me through squinting eyes. I can see that in her mind she’s trying to rhyme my businesslike Captain persona which she knows quite well with my previous statement. I’m pretty sure that up until now I’ve never been a woman with sexual desires inside her head.

“You can borrow my copy if you want.” She says, surprising herself with the suggestion.

I chuckle. “That would be nice, thank you.” It will save me the trouble of looking up the book in the cultural database and downloading it on a PADD. 

B’Elanna pauses briefly, as if she hadn’t expected me to accept her offer. Then she nods once. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.” She points at something next to me. “Your ice cream is melting.” 

I throw her a lopsided grin as I grab the bowl. “Goodnight B’Elanna.” 

She squints at me again, as though she’s trying to figure out where to file tonight’s conversation in her head. Then she seems to give up and briefly shakes her head. “Goodnight Captain.”

~

I’m comfortable in my bed, pillows propped up against the headrest. I’m halfway through B’Elanna’s book and I have to admit I’m completely into the story. 

Based on the excerpt I read in the Mess Hall I expected the book to be a Klingon version of a trashy novel. To my surprise it’s much more profound than that. It’s an entertaining story, with a layered narrative and complex characters. 

It vaguely reminds me of the romance novels I usually enjoy reading or role-playing on the Holodeck. Though the underlying theme is the same, the love stories I usually read are Victorian, traditional and straight. This Klingon story is violent and bloody, explicit and about love between two women. 

I’m enjoying it. There’s no other way to say it. I’d never have expected it, but I am.  
Klingons, I’m discovering, are a very passionate race. And although their culture and their way of expressing themselves are very different from mine, the underlying emotion is very recognizable. It captivates me, seeps into my subconscious as my dreams of the subsequent night revolve around me being captured and ravished by a strong Klingon warrior. It isn’t until the staff meeting the next day that I realize that the warrior in my dreams bears a striking resemblance to B’Elanna Torres.

~

That evening I find myself at her door, requesting entrance.  
I can tell she’s surprised to see me.

“Your book.” I explain my presence, holding up the PADD I borrowed from her. 

She nods and covertly studies my face when she takes the proffered PADD. “Did you enjoy it?” 

I hold her eyes for a minute, bolder than I intended. “Yes.” I answer in a silky voice. “I enjoyed it tremendously.” 

A hint of a smile curls around her lips. Her initial embarrassment about my discovery of her favorite book is long gone.  
“Would you like to come in?” She asks coyly. 

I squint, wondering about my own intentions, and even more so about hers.  
As an answer I take a step forward and she gracefully moves aside to let me in.

I look around when I step inside her quarters. On the few occasions I’ve been here before, I never took the time to take in the details. 

She moves to stand beside me when I stop at the Bat’leth hanging at the wall.  
“Are Klingon love stories always so violent?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the fighting tool.

She tilts her head. “Only the good ones.” Comes the succinct reply. 

I’m even more intrigued now.  
“Do you have more books like this?” I inquire, turning to her. 

“A couple.” She answers, and then she seems to reconsider. “Depends.” She adds before looking at me appraisingly. “What are you looking for?” 

“I don’t know.” I reply honestly. 

Her eyebrow quirks up and a ghost of a smile plays around her lips as she leans a little closer to me. “Only one way to find out…” She whispers conspiratorially before turning around. She walks through the living room and enters her bedroom. 

Briefly, very briefly, I wonder if she wants me to follow her. I quickly discard the thought. This is real life, not a trashy Klingon romance novel. 

B’Elanna returns holding two PADDs. “These are also quite good.” 

I peruse the titles. “Any other stories about M’Nea?” I ask. 

“No.” B’Elanna shakes her head and squints at me. “You like her?” 

I try not to think about the wonderful things M’Nea did to me in my dreams.  
“She reminds me of you.” I state lightly after a beat.

B’Elanna raises one eyebrow. “That doesn’t really answer my question.”  
Her voice is low but tinted with amusement. 

I wonder if she’s flirting with me. I admit to myself that I wouldn’t mind.  
“She sort of grew on me.” I remark casually while throwing B’Elanna a pointed look.

My answer earns me a full-fledged smile.

I smile back and hold up the PADDs. “Thanks for the books.”

She nods once. “I hope you like them.” 

Remembering how much I enjoyed the first one, I grin. “I’m sure I will…”

~

There’s an isolinear chip on my desk.  
And with it, there’s a note: There’s more ways than one to enjoy a guilty pleasure…

From B’Elanna, I realize and I smile.  
The only thing I can find out is that it’s a holonovel. All the other information has been encrypted. 

My curiosity is rising to almost unprecedented heights and minutes later I find myself inside a –thankfully unoccupied– Holodeck. 

I can barely contain my excitement as I order the Computer to activate the program.  
On my left, a holographic display appears, displaying Klingon symbols.

Impatiently I order the computer to translate to Standard Federation English. 

Women Warriors at the River of Blood.  
I read on the display and my eyes widen in delight.

I’m requested to choose the character I want to impersonate. There are only two names available: M’Nea and L’Naan. 

I’m drawn to M’Nea first. But then I think about my dreams about M’Nea, and I figure it might be more interesting to experience this story from L’Naan’s side. 

As soon as I touch L’Naan’s name, the Holodeck becomes dark around me. My uniform is replaced with Klingon attire including some surprisingly comfortable light armor. Gradually the darkness recedes and a wind picks up around me, carrying strange and unfamiliar scents. 

“Qapla’!” 

Wide-eyed I turn around, only to see a massive Klingon ready to attack me. There’s a dagger in my hand and I thrust it forward, stabbing him with all the force that is in me. Relief floods through me when falls to the ground. The iron scent of blood fills my nostrils and I take a moment to look around.

A group of warriors surrounds me. I see their backs as they try to form a circle around me. They’re on my side, protecting me, L’Naan, daughter of Rorg. They swore their fealty to him, to the death. 

Several of their comrades have fallen already. They died, trying to protect me. They’re failing. 

Even though the Holodeck safeties are on, I feel a sense of danger. Warriors are roaring, in Klingon I note, the sound of clashing metal fills the air. This battle is to the death. But not for me. 

My protectors fall one by one. Enemy warriors seize me. But they want me alive. 

As their prisoner, they take me with them. It’s a long journey to their home, where their master awaits. 

The air is putrid and the high humidity makes me sweat. I’m grateful when I see we’ve arrived at a river we have to pass. There is no bridge, we’ll have to wade through. 

Just before I set foot in the water, something happens. Suddenly the warriors are shouting. I hear the sound of metal finding its way into flesh and subsequent roars of fury. And all the big and formidable warriors around me sink to the ground one by one. Their blood turns the water of the river into a deep red.

In the setting sun, I can see the shape of one warrior left standing. Although I can’t see her face very well, I know this is M’Nea. She approaches me and lifts her mek’leth, ready to finish the slaughter. I’m defenseless as I’ve lost my own knife. I cower a bit, not in surrender, but rather in a last chance to save my life. 

I know M’Nea is fierce. She wants to escape the tyranny of her master to whom she was sold as a slave a long time ago. I heard the rumors on how she trained herself to become one of the best female warriors so that her master would be a fool not to let her join his army. And today, after the battle that led to my capture, she has decided that the time has come for her to escape his domination. 

She intends to kill me too, because she knows it will anger him. Her dagger is raised, angled directly at my heart. But something makes her hesitate. 

I stay still, waiting, still on guard. Then she throws her weapon aside and grabs me by my torn and tattered clothes. Her eyes lock on to mine as if she’s trying to figure out why she hasn’t killed me yet. 

I’m breathing heavily, but I keep my gaze firmly transfixed on hers.  
I know this story. I know what’s coming and I’m ready for it. More than ready. 

Still it comes as a surprise when her mouth is suddenly on mine. Although I assume that by Klingon standards her touch is soft, it’s still quite brusque and rough to my liking. She is voracious though and I have to admit it’s not entirely unpleasant to feel her hands sliding over my body. 

My breath hitches pleasantly in my throat when her hand palms my breast. But I groan in discomfort when she subsequently squeezes it too hard by human standards. 

“Oh boy.” I exhale softly, wondering if my need for an amorous escapade will really be satisfied in this way. I’m into it, up to a certain degree, but if I’m really honest with myself I have to admit it’s all just a little too much. A little too bloody, a little too hot and humid, a little too rough, a little too… Klingon. 

When M’Nea starts biting my earlobe –also a little too hard for the record–, I quickly urge the Computer to pause the program. 

I take a step back and look at the Klingon woman in front of me.  
She doesn’t look at all like the woman I had imagined. 

I sigh and purse my lips. This isn’t going to work for me. I bend forward and place a kiss on her ridged forehead. “You’re not my M’Nea.” I whisper. Then I order the computer to end the program and feel my familiar uniform materialize around my body again as all things Klingon around me disappear.

~

I’m waiting for the turbolift on my way to the weekly staff meeting in the Briefing Room. 

The lift arrives and the doors open, revealing B’Elanna Torres already inside.  
We greet each other friendly.

“Did you enjoy the holonovel?” B’Elanna asks casually when the lift starts moving. 

I tilt my head when I look at her. “Actually... I preferred the book.” I answer honestly.  
At her questioning glance I elaborate. “The holonovel was a little too... Klingon for my  
tastes.” 

I see her brow furrow and wonder if I’ve offended her with that statement. I certainly  
didn’t intend to. “All the violence and the fighting is a bit much for my frail human  
constitution.” I add lightly. 

She smirks and I know she doesn’t mind my comment.  
“Klingons can be a little vigorous.” She offers with a grin. 

“My Victorian holonovel is positively dull by comparison though.” I concede conspiratorially.  
When I ran my novel last night, I distinctly remember that when Lord Burleigh conveyed his feelings for me by lightly touching my face, I wanted to grab him by his vest and growl at him to hurry up and take me already.  
I grin. “I should try to find something in between. Not so vigorous that I fear for my life half of the time, but on the other hand not so dull it almost lulls me to sleep.” 

The turbolift arrives at deck two and for a moment I think our conversation is finished. Yet just before we enter the Briefing Room, B’Elanna leans a bit closer to me. “I guess what you’re looking for is something half-Klingon, half-human.” She whispers.  
I could swear she winks at me as she makes her way to her seat. 

The seed of curiosity that she planted a while ago, suddenly sprouts and during the entire briefing I find myself thinking about my half-Klingon half-human Engineer in a decidedly unprofessional way.

~

Two days ago we found a planet that contained large amounts of some kind of extremely nutritious moss – at least according to Neelix.  
Three away teams beamed down to collect the moss and scout for other edible things while Voyager remained in orbit. 

Half an hour ago, I also beamed down. Officially I came to check on progress, but in reality I jumped at the chance to be planetside for once. Although I was born with spacelegs, I sometimes get cabin fever. So if it’s at all possible, I try to spend an hour by myself, alone, on every planet we visit. Just to remind myself what it’s like. 

By now, Neelix is overseeing the process of storing the loot in the right preservation containers, which can then be transferred to the cargo bay.  
I know it will take the away teams a while to transport everything. It gives me just enough time for my little escapade.

I put my hand above my eyes to shield them from the sun and look around, wondering in which direction I should wander off.  
I start walking uphill, thinking that the view will be great a bit higher up. I intend to find a comfortable place to sit and take in my surroundings. 

Slightly up ahead I spot a grassy field with some large rocks which seems just about perfect for what I have in mind. When I round one of the rock formations however, I stop in surprise.  
Someone beat me to the punch line.  
It’s B’Elanna. 

She has her face turned up to the sun and her eyes are closed. I stay still for a moment, not wanting to disturb her and wonder if I should just quietly leave and find another spot. Yet after a moment I see the corners of her mouth curl upwards in a smile. 

“Are you just going to keep standing there?” She speaks, with a teasing note in her voice. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.” I apologize. “I’ll find another spot.” 

Then she opens her eyes and lets her gaze rest upon me for a moment. “There’s room enough for two.” She says friendly.

With a smile I sit down next to her and she turns her head towards the sun again, closing her eyes.  
I do the same.

The silence is companionable for a while. The sun warms my face, I can hear birds in the trees nearby, a slight breeze caresses my cheeks. I inhale deeply a couple of times, enjoying the scents that assault my nostrils: the richness of the soil, the grass, the flowers, … I take it all in, I refresh my memory. 

Without looking I can feel that B’Elanna is doing the same next to me. 

“Some things a holoprogram just can’t recreate…” I murmur softly. 

I hear some faint rustling next to me when B’Elanna shifts her position. “There’s nothing like the real thing.” She confirms huskily.  
Then her breath hitches and I turn my head throwing her a questioning look.

I find her staring at me in alarm.  
No, it appears that she’s staring at something right next to me.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, also alarmed now as I see her hand move to her phaser.

“Don’t… move…” She hisses. I can tell she’s assessing and calculating the situation.

My heart suddenly beats in my throat but before I can say or do anything she launches forward, aiming the phaser alarmingly close to my head. With a shriek I duck out of the way, covering my head with my arms as she fires. 

Two seconds later I feel her hand on my arm and I look up at her. 

“I got it.” She states. 

Wide-eyed I sit up and follow her gaze. Thirty centimeters next to me there’s a dead snake. Quite a big one.  
Without saying anything I turn back to B’Elanna.

“It was about to attack you.” She explains, noticing my terrified look. “Sorry if I scared you.” 

Adrenalin is still rushing through my veins. My body hasn’t yet figured out that the danger is gone.  
“You saved my life.” I breathe. 

“I guess I did.” She chuckles lowly in response and my stomach clenches.  
Only this time, fear has nothing to do with it.

She backs away from me, realizing that’s she’s positioned quite close to me and I feel a flash of disappointment.  
“B’Elanna…” I breathe, beckoning her. I stare at her, slightly opening my mouth, not sure what I want to say next. 

Something shifts between us, right there and then.  
I see it as her eyes narrow just a little bit. 

Suddenly she pulls me towards her and for the briefest moment I think she’s going to kiss me. Then I hear her phaser firing again and I realize she just killed another snake.

Intently she searched the ground around us, trying to spot more of the venomous creatures ready to attack.  
“We should get out of this high grass.” She states decidedly.

She gets up and grabs my hand, pulling me with her. Then she throws me a look that is both playful and challenging. “Come on!”

Before I can say anything we’re dashing to the tree-line a couple of hundred meters farther. While we run she holds on to my hand. 

Once we reach the forest, B’Elanna slows down and stops. She turns to me and I see her eyes are filled with excitement. “We should be safer here.” 

I lean against a tree, still breathing hard from running. I can’t remember the last time I felt so alive. 

B’Elanna notices my labored breathing and gives me a quick onceover. “I hope this little escapade isn’t too vigorous for you?” She grins. “With all the killing and the running for our lives?” 

She’s making fun of my earlier comment about Klingon holonovels. I tilt my head, feigning indignance, but inside I feel laughter bubbling up. “Lord Burleigh certainly never makes me work for it so hard.” I smirk.

I swallow as she steps closer to me, invading my personal space just a little bit.  
“You know, I’d never have pegged you for the ‘damsel in distress’ type…” She teases. Her eyes are sparkling with a certain mischief that I find absolutely breathtaking. 

In response I only raise one eyebrow. 

She takes a small step closer still, almost touching me.  
“I think…” she breathes, looking at me intently, “that you secretly prefer to be conquered.” 

“Oh really?” I’m playfully taunting but at the same time my insides are slowly turning into jelly at the intensity of her gaze. “Well, you usually enjoy a challenge, don’t you?” I realize I’m being quite direct, but I don’t care anymore.

My giddiness transforms into bewilderment though as she frowns and throws me a look I can’t identify. 

She steps back a little, tilting her head.  
“You’re being serious about this…” She speaks hesitantly. 

Her words, combined with the look on her face, are like an ice cold shower.  
“You’re not.” I stammer as it dawns on me that I’m making a complete fool of myself. 

Confusion is written all over her face. “I… I thought you were just playing around.” She bites her lip. “That our flirting was just some harmless fun for you.”

I can’t bring myself to look at her. My otherwise trustworthy Captain’s mask can’t help me now. Never in my life have I felt so vulnerable and exposed.  
I need to put some distance between me and her in order to regain my composure. 

When I take a step aside to get away, she grabs me by the arm.  
“Don’t run.” 

I swallow and half shake my head.  
“B’Elanna…” I whisper unsteadily, a plea to let me go. 

“Kathryn.” Her voice is soft but compelling.  
I can’t remember her ever calling me anything else but ‘Captain’.  
Hesitantly, I look up at her. 

B’Elanna captures my gaze and gently cups my chin.  
“I can’t be your M’Nea.” She continues softly. “And I can’t be just a guilty pleasure.”

I frown. “I don’t want you to be.” I breathe. 

The look on her face changes and I realize that I may have misread her earlier. It appears she’s not abhorred by my feelings, but rather that she’s not yet convinced about the depth of them.  
A flicker of hope flares up inside me.

“Are you sure?” She tilts her head. “If I kiss you now, what happens when we get back to Voyager?”  
I can clearly see her doubts as she bites her lip before she continues.  
“You’re the Captain and I’m the Chief Engineer.” She gives me a guarded look. 

I have to admit I haven’t thought that far ahead.  
“I can’t tell you what would happen, B’Elanna.” I say honestly. Then I boldly reach out and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “But I dare you to find out…”

Either I’ve convinced her of the purity of my motives or she just can’t resist the challenge because she catches my wrist and pulls me closer. My heart-rate picks up again as her eyes pierce right through me. Adrenalin courses through my veins.  
Then her mouth is on mine, soft and warm lips coaxing mine into a pleasurable struggle. She tastes familiar and exotic at the same time and I’m instantly addicted. 

Her body moulds against mine as I lean back against the tree. She grabs my other wrist, and raises both my arms above my head, pinning them against the rough bark.  
Breaking our kiss for a moment, she leans back. The look on her face displays pure lust and for a moment I wonder what I’ve gotten myself into. She is half-Klingon after all. 

“I’m going to make you forget all about M’Nea…” She grins devilishly. 

My heart skips a beat when I look at her. There is no doubt in my mind that she will do just that… and more.


End file.
